Dealing with marriage breakdown

Dealing with the breakdown of a marriage ranks as one of the most stressful experiences we can go through in life.

Many clients come for counselling to help them deal with the emotional stress of a relationship breakdown as the experience affects people in many ways.

Anxiety about the future, insomnia, difficulty focusing at work and low mood are some of the ways a marriage breakdown can impact on you.

It may feel difficult or disloyal to talk to people about your marriage breakdown but it is vital to talk about how you are feeling to understanding and non-judgemental family and friends.

If you do not feel comfortable talking to those who know you well for whatever reason, it may be a good idea to seek some professional help via your G.P or counsellor/psychotherapist.

A person outside of your immediate circle of family and friends can often point out areas outside of your current awareness and help support you at this time.

Allow yourself to receive some support at this stressful and upsetting time.

Make sure to take extra time now for self-care:

Think about the things that help you to relax- going for a walk, listening to music, meeting a good friend, going for a massage, reading etc.

Make sure to incorporate these into your routine and avoid relying on alcohol or drugs to get you through the stress and upset. 

The breakdown of a marriage is a grief experience- the life you once knew will be changing and there needs to be space to allow yourself to feel the sadness about letting go of your old life.

Understand that it is OK to feel sad and grieve the relationship whether it was good or bad for you.

Give yourself the chance to cry and you will move through your grief rather than push it aside.

Although you may believe that you will always feel sad, trust that the sadness will end at some point..if you allow yourself to feel it.

Be kind to yourself during this difficult time.

When we are grieving, it is not a good time to make sudden decisions.

You may feel more tired than usual and need more sleep as grieving a relationship takes up a lot of energy.

If you feel unable to cope, talk to your family and friends & you can also speak to your G.P for advice and support.

Keep a vision in your mind of a happier future when all of the issues around a marriage breakdown are resolved, and fan the flame of hope every day, knowing that things will get better in time.

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